awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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