im gay
i know
yea but for you.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
