then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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