Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I enjoy the company of your penis
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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