My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
