and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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