Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
