plz talk dirty to me
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
