i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
