that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
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Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
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I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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