dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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