So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
