U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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