I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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