so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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