That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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