well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize