Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
