If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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