We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
