This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
