I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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