I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
