If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
