im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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