you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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