MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
