Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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