We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
