if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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