Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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