doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
