its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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