I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
