How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize