I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
