Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
