I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
