Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
