it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
