i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
