he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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