Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize