so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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