I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
