Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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