you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
