Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Randomize
