I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
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He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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