craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
