apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
