census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
