Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The adults are the big ones right?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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