is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
