Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
