He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
