Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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