your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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