The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
