can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
