Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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