Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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