apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
