she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Never joke about your clitoris.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
