getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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