Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
