i may or may not be watching the land before time
Do vagina's smell?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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