these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You may now shotgun with the bride
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
