One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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