So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He did a backflip because drugs
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