She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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