so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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