Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
