I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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