your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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