Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
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He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
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Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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