lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
ugly people sure do ruin things
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize